Oh wow! The words are flying out from under my fingers faster than I can process them. Which, is kinda like how fast my brain was whirring during my spin class tonight. Honestly endorphins and anxiety can do some kickin’ things in my head!

So, here are 45 thoughts I had in a 45 minute spin class.

1. Okay play it cool. Just walk in and pick a bike – I got this. 
2. How the heck does this thing work? [tugging, pulling, and pushing buttons and knobs to adjust the bike settings] Everyone is probably looking at me.
3. Instructor: “Is anyone new?”[timid hand raise] Me: Keep playing it cool. Just nod and say things like awesome and cool. 
4. Instructor: “Be kind to yourself tonight” Me: Right on. Okay. This could be okay. I can handle a bit of self-care.
5. I love this music. Maybe I’ll add it to my running playlist.
6. This is gonna be such great cross training!
7. I definitely don’t belong here. What was I thinking?!  I’m a huge impostor.
8. Am I even doing this right?
9. I look like a fool.
10. Why is this bike moving so fast? My legs feel out of control. Oh, my legs feel like Jello. I’m definitely doing this wrong. 
11. [Looks around the room] WOAH all these girls are so skinny.
12. [Looks in the mirror] I’m probably the fattest girl in this class.
13. They probably all think I’m too fat to be here.
14. Everyone in Boston is so FIT. What’s with all these fit people? It must be a city thing.
15. Hey wait. I run half marathons. I can handle a 45 minute spin class.
16. This shirt is too big. It puffs in all the wrong places. It makes me look bigger than really I am. 
17. Okay just don’t look in the mirror.
18. Wow why am I so conceded that I can’t stop looking at myself in the mirror?
19. Why aren’t other people sweating? 
20. [Looks around the room – again] Oh there are people who are struggling WAY more than me. 
21. I got this. 
22. Just keep breathing. 
23. This music is great. Okay, just focus on the music. 
24. Is it weird that I’m singing along to Katy Perry Eye of the Tiger?
25.  Why isn’t there a clock in this room? Where is the clock?!?! How many minutes has it been?
26. What the heck is a moderate hill anyway? My thighs hurt more or less – that’s my measure of resistance.
27. I cant believe all these people are so skinny. 
28. I wonder if they think I shouldn’t be here. 
29. I bet you they aren’t thinking about me at all. 
30. Okay just count the beats. Be present. 
31. How many calories am I burning?
32. Oh, these bikes don’t have any tracking devices! How many miles did I go? How am I supposed to track this in my app later?
33. Why are my thighs so huge? 
34. I said, I wouldn’t look in the mirror!
35. Wow only three more songs left. That wasn’t so bad! 
36. I totally got this. 
37. Make this count. I’m skipping my run for this. 
38. How is this song not over yet?
39. I wonder if Grey’s Anatomy is going to be good. 
40. NO! FOCUS!
41. How did I not realize that whenever I lean forward the instructor can see down my entire shirt?! 
42. At least I’m wearing a matching sports bra.
43. If I have a snack when I get home will I ruin my workout? 
44. Almost there. Don’t give up. Power through. 
45. Made it. Phew! That wasn’t so bad. I’d do that again!